Another day passes and another film is watched. This time it was about samurai ninja zombies and hyper zombies! "Hyper zombies?" I hear you all gasp in amazement! Yes - hyper zombies!
This film starts off as many other Japanses true-life documentaries with business men all happily chatting outside of the Forest of Resurrection. They are happy as larry as they discuss the latest highs and lows of the oriental stock market, and Happy Twitching Bernard in his green and red Christmas-esque shirt and tie combo can't help but twitch like a big fat fruity slut and nearly pisses his little soiled Japanese girl's knickers with joy!
Just then, all hell breaks loose and Sammy comes back to the future to kill his brother and reclaim his long lost girlfriend, Elk Loving Cynthia. Zombies are everywhere and the business men are dying like little bitches, but Cynthaia can think of nothing better to do than have a kip on the mucky forest floor in her lovely pharmacist coat and her super-sonic death belt - don't be alarmed, it's just what they wear.
Everyone runs around shooting each other - especially Monkey Boy Murgatroid who has 101 guns rammed up his little Jap cunt. With this being the forest of turning everyone into hyper kung-fu zombies, all the dead business men come back to life, along with Annie Lennox dressed in the very same wardrobe she wore in the video for 'Sweet Dreams'. Her super laser sun glasses are nothing short of amazing but she gets shot, pisses her self and ends up face down in a stream. As the camera pans left, we know that she is being savaged by an overly massaged cow - bovine buggery at its best! Eventually, Sammy and his brother fight over who is rightfully married to Cynthia, but it turns out that she only has eyes for elk, and she is pregnant with an Elkian Humany offspring - her super-sonic death belt cunningly hid the antler shaped bump earlier in the movie! As if this isn't enough excitement, Happy Twitching Bernard comes back from his untimely grave as a fidgety lizard zombie, but thankfully gets his shitty little annoyin' face blown apart!
And so, as this gripping documentary comes to a close, Sammy, Elk Wife Cynthia and Sammy's Brother (who shall remain nameless for legal reasons) all get reborn in the future with pretty clothes.
This film needed more beef, but overall was a searing view into the steamy underbelly of real-life Japanese stock market mayhem and their growing zombie-samurai infestation problem!
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